A long time love, a momentary mistake or a part time partner, breaking up is hard to do. If there was a connection and it’s taken away it can be a very traumatic experience no matter how many times you’ve been in the situation before. How do you survive and move on from these painful emotions?

Remember that it is ok to break down and cry. Crying is good for you and helps to release many emotions. You may feel like the tears will never end and you may sound like a big blubbering baby but it is one of the most important parts on the road to surviving the pain and moving on with your life. Everyone feels slightly better after a good cry.

It is important for you to work your way through this time in ways that work for you. Some people need a lot of alone time and some people need a lot of support. Wherever possible it is always good to talk and confide in your closest friends or family. Let out all of your negative feelings and don’t bottle them up. These thoughts and feelings are only holding you back so let them out if you can.

If you’re not into talking things out then it is important to keep yourself busy in other ways that work for you. The faster the day seems to go by the quicker you will fight your way through the bad times. You may not find as much enjoyment in the activities that you do but at least it’s more enjoyable than sitting alone with your feelings. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in the depths of self-pity.

Taking time and space to reflect on what has happened is beneficial so that you can try to work out what went wrong. You can also find what went right for you too. Remember and reflect on the good times too if you are able to, it may help you more than you think.

It may seem obvious but don’t start stalking them or trying to hang out with their friends. It’s not going to help you get the time and space that you need. Also you may see things you don’t want to see and make it worse for yourself.

One of the mistakes many people, both men and women tend to make is that they either bombard their ex with messages and calls, find any excuse to contact them or allow them to come waltzing back into your life whenever it suits them. You need to take control of the situation especially if they are contacting you. Be polite but don’t let them think that it is ok and normal for them to just contact you whenever they want to. It may help if your replies aren’t as instant as they used to be. It puts space and time between you and lets them know you’re not sitting around waiting for them to pop back into your life.

Be determined to move on with your life to show them what they gave up or didn’t do enough to keep hold of when they had their chance. It will help you if they can see that you’re coping well without them.

It’s also important to not make any life changing decisions when you’re not thinking straight during a painful break-up. Keep everything else in your life as stable as it can be or you may come to regret the break-up even more if it cost you something you once had.

These negative and hurtful emotions are temporary even if you can’t see through them, they will always disappear like the clouds in a gloomy sky. They may just take some time but the sun will always shine again. So when the sun does come out to play once more, you may find our tips on How To Find Love in 2018 useful.